open

i am busy and tired. grateful. indulgent. sidetracked. disappointed. re-calibrating.

i am open to whatever you want, Lord.

i am certain i need You to accomplish it.

Your kingdom come. Your will be done.

like I'm real

Worship like He's real, Haley.

I AM REAL, HALEY.
Thus started my Sunday morning worship experience.

Have I really drifted so far from my solidarity of heart--of spirit?
 
God doesn't like my statuses. He doesn't comment on my wall. He's not retweeting my moment-by-moment updates. He's not a subject in my photographs. Not a friend knocking on my front door every day. I don't have an iCal reminder going off: "Meeting with God at 4:30 p.m.!"

Have I forgotten what real is?

I'm no conspiracy theorist--and I won't get down to the psychological effects (affects) of our web-based lives--but there's something wrong with the way I am thinking. I'll go as far to say there's something wrong with the way I am living... or not living.

I sang it out loud. I meant it. Hands raised, heart abandoned:

"Come shake the ground with the sound of revival."

Revival. One of Merriam-Webster's first definitions of the word is "renewed attention".
 Shake the ground with a sound that will renew my attention.

 Distract me, Lord.

a re-evaluation

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

-Micah 6:8 [ESV]

Following my foggy cynical season of post-high-school-identity-disorder, I remember distinctly how the Lord led me through a passionate season of humility.

I will not live for money. I will not live for work. I will not live to pay the bills.
I will live ever, only for You.

I developed dreams of serving the poor and needy, changing the world around through one-on-one God-saturated conversation, and consecrating myself to Him wholly--no matter the size of the sacrifice.

Today, years removed from the freshness of Ragamuffin Gospel and Crazy Love, I feel my inner self crying out "Make me humble again, Lord."

But do I trust Him with the process?

When I lay my Spirit's desires before Him, I certainly see my[whole]self more clearly. And some of the trinkets I hold onto are frankly embarrassing.

What if I have to give up:
-Shopping
-Lattes
-Facebook
-Select movies

"Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity,
And revive me in Your ways."
-Psalm 119:37 [NASB]


If it costs me everything--if it flips my self-absorbed life upside-down--I am willing. Furthermore, I am longing.

I long to have the heartbeat of God. I long to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with Him.

I am completely surrendered to His call, praying He interrupts and invades my day-to-day with His Kingdom Come.

above the noise

Life has been a little more than chaotic lately. While I have made impressive strides to get into a normal routine on a day-to-day basis, the workload has consistently increased. On one hand, I am blessed in a recessive economy to be so busy with work--I truly do not take this for granted. I am now 5 weddings into a 16 wedding marathon--capturing love every Friday or Saturday for nearly 4 months straight! Seriously--I am not complaining. I'm just learning a lot about myself--about running a business full-time while treasuring my family, keeping God first, and not going nuts in the meantime.

This weekend was a whirlwind of fun. I photographed a Nigerian wedding in Atlanta and then captured what might possibly be my favorite session to date. I will continue to reach for the stars.

Amidst the events this weekend, I found some time to spend in the Word. Reading through the beginning of Proverbs, I came across one of my favorite scriptures and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

I still find it wonderful that this Big God who created everything [and holds it all in place] can find me in the middle of my chaos and speak straight to my heart. I trust Him with everything inside me--and long to honor Him the same.

Calming things down and reading my Bible with the chaos of Atlanta traffic outside my hotel window, I was reminded of a hymn I came across just a few months ago. I decided to utilize the view from the window as a backdrop to the verse. May this be a reminder to us all.

seasons

This is my favorite day of the year. I walked outside this morning and the air was crisp--welcoming to my cardigans and scarves. It is officially the first day of fall.

I'm excited to bring my Bible and notepad, accompanied by my latest favorite worship c.d., Will Reagan and United Pursuit--Live at the Banks House (GET IT!) to Starbucks... sit outside, sip on my Pumpkin Spice Latte, and take a day off--soaking in His Word and truth.

Here's their video to "Set a Fire."

Find time to spend with Him today.