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12.01.2010

greed, gratitude, humility.

Greed.

We want what's next. What's best. What's hip and cool.

We tell people in excitement when we will make that purchase. If we don't tell them, they eventually see it. And when they do, we feel better, more hip, more cool.

But oftentimes--more times than not, in America--we are building up this duo-viral disease inside of us. Feeding our green monster. Feeding our pride. Feeding our... stress.

I want my new camera. I want it for my business. I want it for my clients. I want it for the world to see the wonders I can perform with this particular camera model. I have inferred that all the cool people use it. The coolest, even. And I have told everybody I wanted it. Slow to speak, Haley. Slow to speak.

Back in the day, if you wanted something, you worked your little heart out for it. Eventually your work paid off, and you made sure to know [that you know, that you know] that you wanted to invest such hard-earned money for this thing. While you were working, you had the opportunity to really ponder whether or not you wanted it that badly. If you did, you saw the object for not only it's monetary worth, but worth waiting for--worth working for.

Now, if you want something, you sign up for pretend money--money you don't have. With this money, you feel better, more hip, more cool. With this money you, with imaginary funds, are self-promoted to the next bracket of cool people in the world. You have more stuff. Better stuff. Shinier stuff. And the [best] part is, you can feel the sensation of owning such treasures without having to suffer through waiting for it--sometimes, even, without having to suffer through the working for it.

In turn, we have began to appreciate the idea of instant gratification--the idea that we can now have our desires filled with a few questions and a signature. We still owe the money--so you can look at it as if you are still working for it. But waiting for it? Gone. No more waiting.

There are always disclaimers--trust me, I feel as though I've memorized the list. Would this camera be a good addition to my business? A great one. Would getting a loan for it be completely irresponsible? No, it would build my credit. How beneficial would it be to have this camera in December instead of February, or March, or God-willing, next fall? Sure, it would be beneficial. More so, it would be SO impressive!


I feel like Dave Ramsey is on one shoulder and CreditCards.com (yeah, it really exists) is on the other.

Don't get me wrong--I am in no way distributing judgement to those around me. This is an utterly reflective blog. There are people around the world right now, in this moment, taking out loans for items they want. I have no idea where they are at in life, what their game plan is, and, most importantly, I have no idea what their heart is in the matter. Even if I did know what their heart was, who am I to judge their actions?

To reflect on the earlier ramblings of my blog, I do feel as though I have worked my little heart out for this camera. But, if I really wanted to be particular, do I feel as though I have done all that I can do with a 40D? I mean, there are certainly photographers around the world with a 40D that are doing wonders with their camera--photographers who I look up to, strive towards. Not for their equipment, but for their skill. For their talent. For their determination. For their creativity. None of which attributes can be found in an inanimate object. Character counts. Most.

Gratitude.

This value is becoming a fossil in our middle class society. (Generalizing, of course). For many of our American minds, gratitude is a fleeting thought, often a forced thought, before we move on [quickly] to the next thing we want. If that's a bit extreme for you, we can at least admit that gratitude is frequently placed on the back-burner by greed, envy, "deservingness", and reward. Confession: I can't tell you how many times I have said to myself "You deserve this" pertaining to the purchase of something I really didn't need--whether a 700 calorie dessert, or a new shirt, or a larger purchase. (Honesty is painful). Which leads me to my next point:

Humility.

If I were to pause in that moment of "I deserve this", if I were to abruptly interrupt the reeling wheel of disclaimers in my head, as to why this is a good idea and not an irresponsible or greedy one, and compare it with the Word, I would be undeniably rejected. Yet, often times, I pray and pray and pray, hoping to change God's mind--to tell Him that this stuff will make me genuinely happy, when He knows the desires of my heart. Here are some scriptures that make me think twice. Actually, I think it is best described that these verses serve as a drop-kick to my throat.

ABOUT DEBT

"Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another."
Romans 8:13

ABOUT WAITING

"The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenty; but the thoughts of everyone who is hasty only to poverty."
Proverbs 21:5

ABOUT DISCIPLINE

"He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a broken down city without a wall."
Proverbs 25:28

ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF HASTE

"For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he may have enough to finish it; lest perhaps, after he has laid the foundation and is not able to finish, all those seeing begin to mock him, saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.'"
Luke 14:28-30

"A faithful man will abound with blessings, but he who makes haste to be rich will not go unpunished."
Proverbs 28:20

ABOUT CHARACTER

" He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is also unrighteous in much."
Luke 16:10

ABOUT LOVING MONEY

"Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 5:10

"Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have."
Hebrews 13:5

ABOUT OUR CAPABILITIES IN ANY FINANCIAL CIRCUMSTANCE

"Not that I speak from what I want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:11-13

ABOUT BEING FOOLED BY CREDIT CARD COMPANIES
(Yeah, I went there. It's applicable.)

"The naive believe everything, but the sensible man considers his steps."
Proverbs 14:15

"Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who hurries his footsteps errs."
Proverbs 19:2

"Do not weary yourself to gain wealth, cease from your consideration of it"
Proverbs 23:4

This last passage gets me the most, but takes a little explanation:

"Do nothing out of selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests but also for the interest of others." -Philippians 2:3-4

A couple of years ago, I had this idea. What if I didn't buy anything outside of necessity unless I first bought something of the same amount for someone else? Extreme, I know. And a completely formulated method of giving, which I wouldn't say is directly from the heart of God. But could I live so others minded? Is it possible? And if I did this, how often would I second guess my desire for something? If I had to buy the same for someone else first, would I consider them worth it? The same purchase I was planning on expensing for myself? What if I spent 2011 saving up and buying cameras for all of the aspiring photographers around me? What if instead of continuously adding to my wardrobe, I began to buy clothes from Target and Charolette Russe and Urban Outfitters for people I knew would appreciate them more? What if I were no longer concerned about what I want, but what others need? And which lifestyle would produce the most change? The most impact? Which lifestyle would rattle the core of the community around me? Which is the best form of love expressed in action? Is it possible for me to change? Is it possible to change the world?




"Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; 
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way."
Psalm 139:23-24



"All I need is You."

Selah.




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